the world of pretending

Posted: July 14, 2008 in ABSTRACT THOUGHTS /rendering of madness
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Sometimes I pretend that I can not see. I close my eyes and pretend
that I am blind. So I can not see people cry. Tears that make me sick.
Images that come back like some haunting movie. Nightmares of my life.
I pretend they are not there. Not around the corner. Not on the
streets. Not in the room. Nowhere. Nowhere.

Mirrors. Mirrors. Everywhere.

But sometimes I pretend I can’t see. I pretend that I am not crying.

Sometimes I pretend that I am deaf. I can hear no more. I can’t hear
the screams for help. I can not hear the cries of the dead. I can’t
hear the heart beat of fear. Of helplessness. The sound of death. No
not death. Something worse than that.

But I am deaf. I can hear no such noise. I pretend that I am listening
a sony walkman. All the time. Music. No cries.

Sometimes I pretend.

Sometimes I pretend that I can’t speak. I pretend that I can suffer
without speaking. Like others. I pretend that I am dumb. Words don’t
betray me. I feel but I can’t shout.

Sometimes I pretend that I can run. Sometimes I pretend that I can fly.

Sometimes I pretend that I’m not what I am.

CLOUD. SCRAP. BEE. ICE. PEBBLE. LEAF.

Sometimes I pretend that the world is a pretty rose garden.

Sometimes I pretend that all stories end with : lived happily ever after.

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