semi- fictional tale about Pluto Panes

Posted: May 5, 2011 in ABSTRACT THOUGHTS /rendering of madness

Hi, my name is: Pluto Panes

Never in my life have I been: caught peeing from the top of a building.  

The one person who can drive me nuts is: my ‘adequately sane’ but imaginary neighbour Rufus Daruwala

When I’m nervous: I generally used to suck my thumb but nowadays i pee my pants.

The last song I listened to was: “free tibet” by highlight tribe

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honour: george w bush (any doubts?)

My hair is: black, long and tends to curl.

When I was 5: I had a pet hen called ‘laalti’. (it was only later in my life that i realised, chicken and men can never be friends.)

Last Christmas: I kicked santa in his nuts. and i apologied later. (i wrote a letter.)

I should be: studying literary theory for my entrance Exam.

When I look down I see: Narnia.

The happiest recent event was: the fall of Berlin wall.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: joey (now deal with it).

By this time next year: 2012 will be here. freedom at last.

My current gripe is: it’s 2011.

I like you when: i generally tend not to.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Myself. “hey pluto you won.”

Take my advice: Don’t be perfect. rejoice your flaws.

The thing I want to buy: 5 kilos for manala hash.

If you visited the place I was born: You will find an old mining town and thousands of shattered dreams.

I plan to visit: the otherside of the rainbow.

If you spent the night at my house: you might not meet me.

I’d stop my wedding if: i know about it.

The world could do without: money and justin beiber.

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: accept god as the supreme creator.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: rolling papar.

My favorite blonde is: dumb.

My favorite brunette is: hipster. 

My favorite red head is: on Cartman’s ginger hate list.

My middle name is: bin laden. Pluto bin laden Panes

In the morning I: have a boner.

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: elephants. (they can already swim)

Once, at a bar: lost our jackets, acussed the bartender of stealing, fought with the bouncers, thrown out of the bar, we realised my friend had our jackets .

There’s this guy I know who: who doesn’t exist.

If I was an animal I’d be: saber tooth tiger. and still be alive.

Tomorrow I am: going to pretend remembering today.

Tonight I am: just me.

My birthday is: Sometime this week.

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  1. loonybird says:

    you’re obsessed with peeing.

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